What Does Friend Mean? The Same Stem as You
Friend is any stem in your chart that is the same as your Day Master. Your Day Master is the Heavenly Stem of the day you were born, and BaZi uses it to stand for you.
For example, if your Day Master is Jia, every other Jia in your chart is a Friend. The Ten Gods are ten names for how the other characters relate to you, and Friend is the one most like you. Its Chinese name means shoulder to shoulder: another you, standing beside you.
Finding yours takes two steps:
- Enter your birth date and time in the free BaZi calculator to get your Four Pillars. Each pillar has a stem on top and a branch below. The stem of the day pillar is your Day Master.
- Look at the stems of the year, month and hour pillars. Any stem that matches your Day Master is a Friend. Stems hidden inside a branch count too: a Wu Day Master finds Wu hidden in Yin, Si and Shen.
Calculate your BaZi chart
Enter your birth details to discover your Day Master, elemental balance, and how these concepts apply to your Four Pillars.
Jia Meets Jia: The Friend for Each Day Master
Your Friend is simply the same stem as you. Branches also hold hidden stems. The strongest is the main qi, and the weaker ones are the middle and residual qi. A branch whose main qi is your Friend gives it real weight in the chart.
| Day Master and Friend | Friend as main qi | Friend as middle or residual qi |
|---|---|---|
| Yang Wood (Jia) | Yin | Hai |
| Yin Wood (Yi) | Mao | Chen, Wei |
| Yang Fire (Bing) | Si | Yin |
| Yin Fire (Ding) | Wu | Wei, Xu |
| Yang Earth (Wu) | Chen, Xu | Yin, Si, Shen |
| Yin Earth (Ji) | Chou, Wei | Wu |
| Yang Metal (Geng) | Shen | Si |
| Yin Metal (Xin) | You | Chou, Xu |
| Yang Water (Ren) | Hai | Shen |
| Yin Water (Gui) | Zi | Chou, Chen |
Lots of Friend: Independent, Loyal and Stubborn
People with a prominent Friend tend to have their own views, value independence and stand by their friends. These traits show more when it appears in more than one place, or as a branch's main qi. They read the same for men and women.
| Area | Tendency | When it goes too far |
|---|---|---|
| Decisions | Has their own views; handles their own problems | Stubborn; hard to advise |
| People | Loyal; treats others as equals | Won't back down first or ask for help |
| Teamwork | Works well side by side with peers | Compares and fights over who leads |
| Money | Earns and spends their own; clear lines | Partners may clash over splitting profits |
At work, these people tend to suit settings where they call the shots, such as partnerships, freelancing or running their own business.
Friend vs Rob Wealth: What Is the Difference?
The difference is polarity. Friend and Rob Wealth both share your element. Friend has the same yin-yang polarity as you, and Rob Wealth has the opposite. Together they are called Peers (Bi Jie).
| Aspect | Friend | Rob Wealth |
|---|---|---|
| Polarity vs Day Master | Same | Opposite |
| Jia Wood example | Yang Wood (Jia) | Yin Wood (Yi) |
| Working style | Equal partners, each pulls their weight | Pushier; moves first |
| Effect on wealth | Milder urge to share it | Stronger urge to compete for it |
| Seven Killings | Never combines with it | For yang Day Masters, it combines with Seven Killings (the same-polarity stem that controls you), e.g. Yi with Geng for Jia |
| How they count | Counted together as Peers; strength reads the same for both. | |
Help When Weak, Rivalry When Strong: Is Friend Good or Bad?
When you are weak, Friend tends to help; when you are strong, it becomes the problem to manage. How much strength you have is called Day Master strength.
To judge it, look at the main qi of your four branches and count how many are Peers or Seal. Seal is the element that feeds you. Three or more means strong, exactly two leans strong and sits near balance, and one or none means weak.
Stems and the middle and residual qi are not counted. If you don't know your birth hour, you only have three branches, and two is enough for strong.
Elements that work for you are your favorable elements, and those that cause the imbalance are unfavorable. Wealth is the element you control, Officer and Killings (Guan Sha) control you, and Output (Shi Shang) is the element you feed.
| Your chart | Role of Friend |
|---|---|
| Weak, Wealth-heavy | Your first choice to restore balance; helps you carry the wealth |
| Weak, other pressure | Seal comes first; Friend is mostly a supporting favorable element |
| Strong | Unfavorable; balance it with the three elements above |
Friend in the Year, Month, Day and Hour Pillars
The pillar it sits in shows which people and which stage of life it touches. The stem of the day pillar is you, so in the day pillar it can only sit in the branch.
| Pillar | Life stage and setting | How Friend tends to read here |
|---|---|---|
| Year | Family background, elders, early life | Learns independence early; takes care of their own affairs |
| Month | Siblings, peers, the years from school to working life | Peers matter a lot; tends to team up with them and also compare |
| Day branch | Yourself and your partner | Values equality and independence in a relationship; each keeps their own space |
| Hour | Children, younger people, later life and long-term results | Stays independent later in life; relates to younger people more like a friend |
The day pillars whose branch has Friend as its main qi are Jia Yin, Yi Mao, Wu Chen, Wu Xu, Ji Chou, Ji Wei, Geng Shen and Xin You.
Common Misreadings of Friend
- "Lots of Friend means lots of siblings." Friend describes how you get along with peers. The number of characters in a chart is not the number of people in your family.
- "Friend harms your parents or spouse, or delays marriage." Friend describes how much you value equality in a relationship. It does not predict how your family will fare, or when you will marry.
- "Lots of Friend means lots of friends." People with plenty of it value independence and often prefer to do things alone. How many friends you have depends on how you tend your relationships.
